Deborah Song – Page 2 – Work Life Parent

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7 Best Back-to-Work Programs for Moms

Did you know that 43 percent of highly qualified women leave the workforce either permanently or with the intention to return after having kids? We are exiting in droves. Today in America, there are more than 3 million women with college or advanced degrees trying to reenter the workforce. That is an insane number.

Returning to work is easier said than done, however, especially when you have a gaping five-year hiatus on your resume. Many women who no longer feel relevant and employable don’t return to work for this reason. When it comes to stay-at-home-moms trying to return to work, the punishment certainly doesn’t fit the crime.

In response to corporate America’s inability to meet the pressures of today’s modern family, there are many organizations being founded solely to help moms who left the workforce to raise kids return to work. The big idea underpinning them all: stay-at-home moms are an untapped resource who have valuable skills that are still relevant. Many who have founded and helm these organizations are frustrated moms themselves, and have come up with creative solutions for the changing social needs of the modern mom and family. Here are nine companies and organizations helping moms find their professional footing again. If you are a stay-at-home-mom looking to reenter work, I encourage you to spend some time on each website, as they all offer something unique.

1. The Mom Project – Founded by Allison Robinson during her maternity leave, the former Proctor and Gamble marketing professional decided that moms needed a more flexible working solution in a less than full-time capacity, which is why many of the work they offer is project based and remote, though permanent, in-office opportunities exist as well. The Mom Project is a digital platform that matches moms up with employers from startups to Fortune 500 companies. There are currently 7,000 highly-skilled professionals signed up.
  The Mom Project is also spearheading “Mom Up,” a campaign encouraging people to petition senators and congressmen, asking for paid family leave, child care rebates, and business-supported flexible work arrangements (themomproject.com).
2. iRelaunch -Think internships for the stay-at-home-mom. iRelaunch currently works with over 30 Fortune 500 companies to pilot and develop paid returnships for caregivers who have been out of work. Founder Carol Fishman Cohen is particularly excited that these programs only consider reentry applicants, which carves out a specified niche for returning caregivers (irelaunch.com) .
3. ReacHIRE – ReacHIRE is another reentry program that partners with innovative Fortune 500 corporations to mitigate the gender gap. They educate companies about re-entry programs and gender diversity programs, while connecting and preparing more than 1.6 million women for professional work through training and coaching. (reachire.com).
4. Apres – For $49 (currently discounted at $35), you’ll have access to a comprehensive job market. They also offer career content and inspirational stories, as well as coaching and classes, like basic photoshop and Microsoft office training (apresgroup.com).
5. PathForward – PathForward is a nonprofit helping returning professionals find mid-career internships. They have partnered with with companies like GoDaddy and focus on the greater San Francisco Bay Area, as well as New York, California, Colorado and other major metro areas (pathforward.org).
6. FlexProfessionals -FlexProfessionals was founded by three partners, all mothers and experienced business women, who understand the need for and value of part-time professional employment. We match companies looking for seasoned part-time employees with professionals looking for meaningful part-time work (flexprofessionalsllc.com).
7. Fairygodboss – Much like Glassdoor, Fairygodboss holds a growing database of company and job reviews written by women for women. They help you get the inside scoop on pay, corporate culture, benefits and work flexibility among other topics (fairygodboss.com).

It’s quite possible that many of these reentry and returnship programs haven’t yet partnered with a company you’re interested in working for. If that’s the case, follow the advice of iRelaunch founder Carol Fishman Cohen, who encourages you to suggest the reentry concept to employers who may not have one in place. Why not be their first success story?

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Why Screen Time is More Detrimental to Our Kids Than We Thought

Deborah Song Parenting, Parenting Advice

The Smartphone. Tablets. TV. Video Games. These are some of the cheapest and most readily available babysitters around. As a mom who works from home, I get it. There have been moments where I just needed my kids to watch a little YouTube long enough for me to concentrate and finish whatever it is I needed to get done.

But compelling studies show that screen time may be destroying our kids. Research shows a dramatic marked behavioral changes starting in 2012, the exact year when the proportion of Americans who owned a smartphone surpassed 50 percent. The iGen, cleverly dubbed by some, are those born between 1995 and 2012, and they’re suffering developmentally, socially, emotionally and physically.

Why our kids crave screen time

We grew up with TV too. But this generation’s screen time is far more stimulating than TV has ever been, especially when it comes to digital interactions like social media and video games. When your child plays Pokemon GO or gets a like on Facebook, he gets a shot of dopamine – the same feel-good body chemical you get from chocolate or exercise – but in a much higher dose. Hours of screen time means young brains are awash in dopamine. Kids begin chasing dopamine spikes the way an addict chases cocaine. Hyperbole? Hardly. Brain imaging research shows that a person’s brain who is on screens for more than 15 hours a week begins to look like a cocaine addict’s, where there’s a shrinkage of the frontal cortex and less gray matter. The frontal cortex is the rational, decision-making art of the brain, which for toddlers and young children, isn’t fully developed yet.

What are the repercussions?

The impact goes far beyond the usual concerns of shorter attention sans. The worst offender seems to be social media since it’s changed every facet of a young person’s life, from the way they sleep to the way they interact socially. But screen time is affecting kids of all ages. Here are some compelling statistics broken out by age:

Zero to 2 years:

Screen time affects language development, reading skills and short-term memory, sleep and attention spans
Even having the TV on in the background is consequential. Normally a parent speaks 940 words per hour when a toddler is around. With the television on, the number falls by 770! Fewer words means less learning.
97 percent of babies (under 1) watch TV in America

Recommended TV time: zero, skyping with relatives excepted.

2 – 5 Years of age:

Toddlers who watch more TV show greater problems with attention spans at age 7
For kindergartners, more than one hour of TV each day means they’re 52 percent more likely to be overweight than kids who watch less and 72 percent more likely to be obese than kids who watch less
Kids eat an additional 167 additional calories per hour of television watched
Four hours of daily screen time means it takes 20 minutes longer to fall asleep

Recommended TV time: Less than 1 hour a day

Grade Schoolers and Teens:

Teens who spend tree hours a day or more on electronic devices are 35 percent more likely to have a risk factor for suicide. In 2011, for the first time in 24 years, the teen suicide rate was higher than the teen homicide rate
Four hours of daily screen time is linked to a full-grade-level drop in average GPA
Depressive symptoms among girls have gone up 50 percent and 21 percent for boys from 2012 to 2015
Many teens sleep less than 7 hours most nights
57 percent more teens were sleep deprived in 2015 than in 1991
Eighth, 10th and 12th graders in the 2000s actually spend less time on homework than Gen X teens did in the early 1990s, even though they go out less
The number of teens who get together with their friends every day dropped by more than 40 percent from 2000 to 2015
Twelfth graders in 2015 were going out less often than eight-graders did as recently as 2009
Only 56 Percent of high-school seniors in 2015 went out on dates versus 85 percent for Boomers and Gen Xers
40 percent more girls and 27 percent more boys said they often feel left out in 2015 than in 2010

Recommended dosage: Less than 2 hours a day

Despite these stark findings, you don’t need to pack your bags and move your family to some remote location with no wifi. Most of the significant effects begin to appear after two more hours a day on electronic devices for grade schoolers and teens. The average teen spends about two and a half hours a day on electronic devices. Some mild boundary-setting could keep kids from falling into harmful habits.

7 Tips for Returning to Work

Deborah Song Returning to Work, Work

If you’re a stay-at-home mom thinking about going back to work, you may find yourself wondering if it’s possible with a giant gap in your resume. It likely won’t be easy, but many women – and men – have managed to return to the workforce, sometimes after a two decades-long hiatus. By far the most effective way to land a job is through a referral; 70 percent of jobs are filled through a referral. But many organizations rallying on behalf of stay-at-home mothers are also partnering with companies to create innovative staffing solutions. Not to mention that many moms I encounter are finding increasingly enterprising ways to hustle and produce entrepreneurial revenue streams. Here are some tips to help you get back in the game.

1. Decide what you want. One of the biggest concerns employers have when hiring relaunchers, is that they may not know what they want. It’s a valid concern. After taking so much time off, your needs and ambitions have likely changed. The reasons can be varied, from additional income to camaraderie to self-fulfillment. For many moms, a 9-to-5 would no longer work for their new lifestyle. For this reason, many prefer part-time jobs. Or many returning moms no longer want the high-powered positions that come with a lot of stress. These women are happy to take positions they’re overqualified for in exchange for more flexibility. Or perhaps self-employment is the most viable option for you. Whatever your situation is, take some time to think about what it is you want and what’s most important for you before knocking on someone’s door.

2. Update your tech skills. Another big concern employers have when hiring relaunchers, is that returning caregivers are not technologically up to date. This is an easy fix. Before you decide to enter the work force, make sure you’re up to date on office management software. Take a crash course in Excel and PowerPoint. Platforms like Lynda offer easy-to-access courses that can keep you get up to date.

3. Update your resume. Updating your resume can seem like a daunting task when you have a gaping hole. Even seasoned professionals may not have their resume updated if they’ve managed to move up the ranks within the same company. The best advice here is to consider seeking professional assistance. Investing the money to have your resume reviewed and gleaned by a professional can really pay off, especially since highlighting, not hiding, your time off can be tricky. There are certainly skills you’ve gained during this time. But how you position those skills can make all the difference. If you have a lot of volunteer work, for instance, consider creating your own consulting company and putting all of your work under one umbrella.

4. Network. You need to put yourself out there by talking to everyone. Did you know that 70 percent of jobs are filled based on a referral. The first place to start before networking is perfecting your elevator pitch. NEVER ever say you’d be willing to do anything. This reeks of desperation. The more specific and sure you can sound about the kind of work you’re interested in, the more confident and desirable you’ll seem. Remember that every person you meet or encounter is an opportunity for a referral. Even if they may not be in a position to directly hire you, they may know somebody who is. So be prepared to network in a professional and poised manner.

5. Create business cards. You don’t need anything fancy, just polished. If the topic of work ever comes up in conversation, it’ll be a great way for people to remember and reach you.

5. Look for mom-friendly jobs. There’s a whole industry opening up that’s not only sympathetic to the cause of relaunchers, but exclusively tailored for moms who have taken time off. Many of these programs will only consider relaunchers for hire. Returnships, or internships for caregivers returning to work, have recently made headlines. If the company you’re interested in doesn’t have a returnship program, don’t be afraid to suggest one by contracting a role or asking for a trial period, especially if you sense hesitancy on their part.

6. Consider contract, part-time or even free work. Gone are the days of indentured servitude. So I say “free” here cautiously. But if you feel there is a good chance of being hired or noticed for a coveted position, throwing in free or volunteer work may get you in the door. Show them what your capable of first. Then make requests based on your need.

7. Diversify your efforts. Returning to work may take some time. Landing a job after a hiatus can take months, a year, or even longer. So it’s important to keep hope alive. The best way to do that is by diversifying your efforts. You never know which one will pan out.

The road back to work may be challenging. But don’t get discouraged. All you need is one job. And remember that you’ve already performed the hardest job in the world.

Start Fresh. Silence Your Inner Critic.

Deborah Song Returning to Work, Work Find Work

Since this is the first post of a brand new blog (eek!), and because there are other fresh starts on the horizon (our kids going back to school being another), I wanted to spend some time talking about new beginnings, especially as it pertains to work. People often talk about taking that first step towards major change as if it were the same thing as taking a step up a flight of stairs. ‘All you need to make change happen is to take that first step,’ is a commonly heard refrain. Truth is, it’s just not that simple.

If you’re currently in a situation craving change in your work but find it extremely difficult to take that first step, it’s likely there are mental cobwebs you need to remove first. One of the biggest roadblocks, I’ve found, is the little guy with pitchfork in hand: your inner critic. It’s the part of your conscience that tempts you to believe the worst about yourself.

The drudgery that preceded the action to start this blog is a good example of this. I developed an entrepreneurial itch in grad school 8 years ago while studying journalism. Yes, I wanted to write for magazines. But I also I wanted to the owner and editor who oversaw the entire content process of a syndication. And for me, this translated to having my own blog. Yet, many years were spent shuffling papers around.

If I can muster the courage to ask why pursuing a blog professionally took as long as it did [I’ve started many leisurely blogs], I can pinpoint my pangs back to the pings of my inner critic: “A blog will take too long to develop,” “If you wanted to start, you should’ve started a long time ago,” “There are just too many blogs. What makes you think your work will stand out in a deluge of content anyway?”

While it may have taken many years to remove those cobwebs and silence my inner critic, I’ve figured out how to do it. Hopefully reading about my past mistakes will mean it wont’ take you as long. Here’s how to cut out the noise and take that first step towards change.

1. Have the courage to admit what you want. It’s important to give definition to what you’re protecting your inner critic from. Part of the reason why it took so long for me to start this blog was my perception of other people’s expectations of me. I thought I needed to be at a certain place in my career by a certain age. A bigger reason though was insecurity. I had written articles but I didn’t know how to grow an audience to millions of page views. The task seemed daunting. I told myself I didn’t have the time to take on a project this big. And since I didn’t want to set myself up for failure, I merely flirted with the idea but never committed to it. It all sounded so logical at the time. It’s easy to listen to your inner critic. That is, until you’re honest about what you want. When you’re honest about what you truly want, you become protective of your goals. It’s the first form of defense against your inner critic.

2. Stare your inner critic in the face. Acknowledge that your inner critic is a force to be reckoned with. Only in clearly hearing what your inner critic has to say, can you make a rebuttal. If you’re merely shooing your inner critic away before you’ve had a chance to clearly hear it, the buzzing will only continue to bother and distract you without being able to swat it quiet. Is your inner critic telling you you’re time as a stay-at-home mom has made you unemployable? Or is your inner critic telling you it’s too late in the game to pursue what you really want? Whatever your worst fears are, draw them out of your subconscious and bring them to the forefront of your consciousness. Then say it out loud. Write it down even. Your fears always sound and look worse in the confines of your mind.

3. Make a logical assessment. Mark Twain once said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Most of what we fear will never happen, not to the large majority of us. Rather than magnify and fantasize about how awful things can be, make a logical assessment of your worst fears. Dr. Mark A. Reinecke, in his book “Twenty Lessons for Managing Worry, Fear, Anxiety and Fear,” suggests asking yourself these three questions, which I’ve tailored for the topic of this post:

In which working situations do you exaggerate the risk of negative outcomes?
In which working situations do you underestimate your abilities? Why?
Think about three or four recent events while working that made you feel anxious. Did you anticipate negative outcomes that never happened?

These questions may serve as a window into trends and habits that may have formed at the suggesting of your inner critic. The good news is that you can actually break the bad habit by talking yourself out of it, says Reinecke.

4. Make peace with your past. One stronghold your inner critic may have over you is your past mistakes. So it’s important to make amends. Forging a peace agreement with yesteryear requires two things: admitting your error and owning your choices. Of course there are legitimate reasons for why we haven’t pursued our professional goals, especially when you’re a parent. Are you kidding me? Life as a parent is insane. There are those decisions we chose to make. Then there are excuses we made. For me, I don’t regret my time as a stay-at-home mom during my kids’ most formative years, as hard as that was. I wasn’t focused on career during this time and I am owning my choice to be home with them. However, the last couple of years were spent busily but not productively. Instead of dealing with the cause of my paralyses, I chose instead to hide in my daily routine and make excuses for not pursuing what I truly wanted. I was afraid. And that’s okay. The peace agreement happens when you’re able to learn something from your mistakes.

5. Focus on what you can control. Did you know that most people think worrying is helpful? The logic goes something like this: ‘If I ponder a problem long enough, I’ll come up with better answers, insights and outcomes.’ Worrying is only helpful if it leads to solutions. Yet so many of us spend time worrying excessively about things that are out of our control. Focus on what changes are within your control and then come up with solutions that move you to action. Forget the rest. One effective way to “forgetting” (because you can’t ever completely blot out a thought), is to allot a specified time for obsessing. When those 10 or 15 minutes is up, it’s time to think about things you can do.

6. Break up your goals. If your life’s aspiration is to cure world hunger, who wouldn’t become paralyzed? While it’s okay and quite noteworthy to have such lofty goals, create smaller, digestible goals for how you’re going to achieve this. This is actually the approach that empowered me to start and organize this blog. My goal for Work Life Parent was and still is pretty lofty. My own chaos and hearing about the incessant modern demands from other moms has made me want to address the issue of work-life balance as a mom. This is not something that can be chewed on in one bite. But by breaking it up, bit by bit, morsel by morsel, post by post, it felt more achievable. My inner critic didn’t have a lot to say about my ability to write a single post or article. I’ve done that many times.

7. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness in it’s simplest form is single-tasking. Put another way, it means living in the present. Research shows that mindfulness increases acuity, health and happiness. Part of the peace that is missing in our lives happens because we live in the future or in the past. We need to be focused on the here and now because our inner critic is loudest when we think of regrets or when we fear future uncertainties. Many people think mindfulness only happens deep in a forest while wearing yoga pants, or on a scenic beach. That’s not true. The trick is not to find extra time, but to incorporate mindfulness throughout your day, whether it’s focusing on the coffee you’re sipping or enjoying the skyline of a sprawling city even while sitting through mind-numbing traffic.

In short, don’t be fooled. Your inner critic is not muddled annoying background noise. It can paralyze you and keep you from taking that first step. Sometimes our inner critic echoes the voice of a loved one — or a hated one. But when it comes to what we hear in our own minds, ultimately we are the final filter. We have the final say in what we choose to hear and what we choose to ignore. It can mean the difference between taking that first step or not.

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